So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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