I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
