we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
