But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
