the condom got lost in my hair
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
