My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
