his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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