i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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