pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
