I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
