She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
