My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize