sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
