do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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