And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
