So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
