I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Life is so much better after having sex.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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