I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
