put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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