i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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