i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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