Apparently you make a good broom.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
