They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
