I CAN MOONWALK!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
