My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
