he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize