cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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