wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
