She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
