no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
