Sry I called you an 8
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
