The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
