I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You were trust falling into bushes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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