the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
