she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
