i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
