the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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