If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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