you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
