the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
