my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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