We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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