the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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