i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
