and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
