In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
this hospital has no fireball
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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