Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
