last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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