I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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