Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize