suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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