Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
