wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
