Me. At least after what I've been through.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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