shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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