Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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