I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
